Why me?

Tonight I drove by the sight of my accident. The chunk of the bush I took out is growing back nicely, and apart from the one corner being shorter, there is no sign left of what happened there two years ago. I always think back and ask why me? Not why did it happen to be in the first place, but why did I survive it? It was my fault and my responsibility, yet now I count my accident among my blessings. Why me? I surely don't deserve it. I barely even had to pay the consequences of my actions. A couple hundred dollar ticket is surely a fair price for my life.

I was returning home from hanging out with friends, watching a movie, and talking about life. Ever since middle school, I have been overwhelmingly blessed with friendship. Why me? I have so many friends who I love and trust completely, and have never really lacked this since the start of high school. Considering how hard it is for me with new people, this is truly incredible, especially considering how easily I made great friends in college when I knew absolutely no one. The greatest thing is I know my feelings are reciprocated. Even my newest of friends drove across two states to visit me, and my oldest has brightened when I reaffirmed he is my best friend. They are all incredible people, and I understand not everyone can claim the same about their friends.

Even now, as I sit in my room, I ask why me? I barely have to look around to see a computer, a bed, a TV, an Xbox, shelves of books, and countless reminders of a happy childhood. I was born in America to hard working and loving parents. They've always provided for me, and I've never truly known want or hunger. What have I done to deserve this? I was born into such opportunity.

I reflect further on my parents and then on my family, and again I ask, why me? I love my parents, and they love me. I could not ask for a more perfect pair. Sure we have fought, but all those times pale in comparison to everything else. They raised me as best they could, and should have no regrets. I know too many people, good people and great friends, who cannot share this joy. My sister and brother, although as imperfect as I am, are also true blessings in my life. They love me, even if they (by which I mean my brother in particular) don't necessarily say it, they show it in ways only a sibling can. Even at my age, I still have plenty to learn from my brother, yet he displays patience and kindness in teaching me. My sister, though separated from me by years, still makes the effort to connect with me, and bond. Again, this is no result of anything I have done, simply the chance of birth.

Again, why me? Why has God blessed me so? Why not any one of those in Haiti, or those suffering at the hands of Joseph Kony and the LRA? It is unfair; I recognize this. I suppose if it was fair, and I did deserve this, it wouldn't be grace. As Relient K says, "the beauty of grace is it makes life not fair;" however, I am not content with this. This unfairness does not sit well with me. Perhaps this is why God has blessed me; this is the answer to "why me?" God has extended me this grace, so I may extend it to others. I simply pray God also blesses me with the strength to do all I can do. Until next time, have fun, live life, and don't die. Good night, folks.