So today, Damascus Road had a story slam. Simply put, it's like a poetry slam, but with people telling 5 minute stories, with the audience deciding the best story. Also, the DR band played some awesome music before and after. I didn't plan on telling a story because I didn't have a story I wanted to tell that fit with the theme ("By the skin of By The Skin Of Your Teeth: Stories Of Close Calls). When the theme was dropped last minute to get a few more people involved, I got roped in. I prepared this in a few minutes as just a rough draft (although, we couldn't have any notes or anything), but it went very well. People found it entertaining, so w/o further ado, here is my sports story:
I am not an athletic person. Shocking, I know, but this is not the body of a star athlete. I'm sorta slow and my hand eye coordination is...lacking. So of course I love sports and am super competitive.
I have tried and failed to play sports my whole life. My first endeavor was t-ball. Man, I could hit that stationary ball, but then I moved up to baseball. Moving balls are not as easy to hit. I was scared to swing. My dad paid me to swing. My one game ball was because the 10 year old pitcher walked me and scored the winning run.
After baseball, I tried basketball. I made 2 baskets between 2nd and 8th grade. My highlight was hitting a defender in the face w/ the ball trying to pass it.
But next, was football. The one thing athletic fat kids are good at is getting in the way, and football has a position where that's just what you're supposed to do, offensive lineman. Final I found my sport. The o line is a thankless job, but I did have one moment of fame. In a close game, almost to the endzone, our quarterback dropped back to pass, and gunned it over the middle, right into the refs face. Suddenly, the ball's in my arms, the ricochet came right to me. I didn't know what to do but push forward into the endzone. I had scored. The team went ballistic; I was victorious. Sadly, that is not a legal play. The qb cannot pass the ball off the refs face to his offensive lineman, no matter how awesome that is.
And as always, onwards.
